Many consider relationships to be amongst the most important aspects of life and managing them is so important. Many respected thinkers and philosophers also opine the same. I’m inclined to think that the first part is quite natural, given the interdependent nature of life but I have a serious reservation about the management aspect.
On deeper thought, I think ‘management’ as an activity is unnatural and may also be at the root of many problems. My assumption is that management originates from thought and is necessarily not intuitive. One may reach the same intuitive action after thinking, but once thought is applied, it falls in the arena of management. Another way of looking at it may be that management is ‘doing’ and not ‘being’ and I consider ‘being’ as a higher state than ‘doing’.
I’m generally not very particular about ‘maintaining’ or ‘managing’ my relationships. Friends, relatives, peers, family, all my relationships are good, bad, strong, weak, not because I intended them to be that way or I worked on them, but they just happen to be the way they are. If I need to manage relationships, they become a burden and instead of adding value, they take away. So, I’m inclined to not manage relationships. Sometimes, I’ve had to pay a price for being that way, but so far the price hasn’t made me uncomfortable. I’ve also had some great relationships and none of these have I’ve ‘managed’.
I haven’t been too conscious of all this till recently. But of late, I’ve been receiving a lot of attention and advice on giving importance to this important aspect. But I just can’t get myself up to it and I don’t wish it to be any other way.One of the reasons why we moved into this place (Barkheda) instead of buying our own land was that this place was intended to be a community of people who’d like to live in harmony with nature. So, we thought that some time later, we may have a few neighbours, whose thoughts and ways may coincide with ours. The alignment of thought was with a few city people, who were founders and land owners. 9 months later, we’ve realized that there is no alignment in action. Living the thought (in harmony with nature) requires one to come out of the comfort zones. But these city dwellers don’t seem to be able or willing to do that. Consequently, there is a strain in our relationships. Now the question is, should I get to ‘managing’ these relationships (something, which I’m neither inclined nor equipped to do) or should I continue to live the life I’m living and the relationship will reach wherever it has to?