Thursday, 31 October 2013

Relationship and Management !!!

Many consider relationships to be amongst the most important aspects of life and managing them is so important. Many respected thinkers and philosophers also opine the same. I’m inclined to think that the first part is quite natural, given the interdependent nature of life but I have a serious reservation about the management aspect.
On deeper thought, I think ‘management’ as an activity is unnatural and may also be at the root of many problems. My assumption is that management originates from thought and is necessarily not intuitive. One may reach the same intuitive action after thinking, but once thought is applied, it falls in the arena of management. Another way of looking at it may be that management is ‘doing’ and not ‘being’ and I consider ‘being’ as a higher state than ‘doing’.
I’m generally not very particular about ‘maintaining’ or ‘managing’ my relationships. Friends, relatives, peers, family, all my relationships are good, bad, strong, weak, not because I intended them to be that way or I worked on them, but they just happen to be the way they are. If I need to manage relationships, they become a burden and instead of adding value, they take away. So, I’m inclined to not manage relationships. Sometimes, I’ve had to pay a price for being that way, but so far the price hasn’t made me uncomfortable. I’ve also had some great relationships and none of these have I’ve ‘managed’.
I haven’t been too conscious of all this till recently. But of late, I’ve been receiving a lot of attention and advice on giving importance to this important aspect. But I just can’t get myself up to it and I don’t wish it to be any other way.
One of the reasons why we moved into this place (Barkheda) instead of buying our own land was that this place was intended to be a community of people who’d like to live in harmony with nature. So, we thought that some time later, we may have a few neighbours, whose thoughts and ways may coincide with ours. The alignment of thought was with a few city people, who were founders and land owners. 9 months later, we’ve realized that there is no alignment in action. Living the thought (in harmony with nature) requires one to come out of the comfort zones. But these city dwellers don’t seem to be able or willing to do that. Consequently, there is a strain in our relationships. Now the question is, should I get to ‘managing’ these relationships (something, which I’m neither inclined nor equipped to do) or should I continue to live the life I’m living and the relationship will reach wherever it has to?

Saturday, 26 October 2013


It gives me great pleasure to be independent. Independence means not being dependent on someone to satisfy basic needs. Interdependence is surely a higher virtue, but it often crosses the line and gets into the arena of exploitation. This is a separate subject and is a huge aspect of our normal life.
Moving ahead on the path of independence, a new skill got added recently – milking the cow. I can’t express how liberating the feeling is. We now have a cow and a calf within our house premise and I milk the cow twice a day. Kids now drink fresh, unadulterated, organic milk of a free grazing Indian cow – something experts claim as the best possible. We’re also able to get very small quantities of cream, turn it into butter and then into pure, organic, Indian cow ghee. Just a few spoonsful every 3 days, but unmatched quality! All this independently!
The learning, which got reinforced with this experience, was that the biggest bottleneck in learning something new is inertia. I’d given myself 10 days to be able to milk. And it happened that 2 sessions were sufficient!
Siddharth and Shreya seem to be enjoying themselves – all by themselves. There are times when we feel that they long for company of same aged kids, but most times, they are engrossed in their own games, stories, cow & calf. Siddharth is learning to communicate over e-mail – his own e-mail id. He also writes a blog – couple of sentences each time and sends it to dada and dadi. He’s learning to type. I sometimes wonder if handwriting will be irrelevant in a few years! Shreya is also getting more conversant with a laptop and even the internet. She’s learning to read, but is not a hard-worker at that yet.
Over the last few days, coincidently both Rekha and I have had a realization. The importance of organic food, the harm caused by pesticides, nutrition in food and many more are undoubtedly true, but blown out of proportion. Possibly there is a lobby working against the other side of these phenomena. What is likely to be infinitely more harming than chemically grown food or pesticide infested fruits & vegetables, is, stress. Pursuit of happiness can cause stress, rather, it inevitably does. But happiness does not. Instead of spending a lifetime in pursuit of happiness, it is more important to be happy – today! So, a new principle, new norm: Norms and principles are important. They are the cornerstones of life, but the pursuit of a normal life, which causes stress, defeats the very purpose of a normal life. On the other hand, a life without norms, focusing on happiness alone may also result in stress. Quite a balancing act required!